So I just got back from my date and I was pretty perfect.
I can't believe I gave this guy up because what other people though.
I won't go in to details cause there was so much that made the night great,
but I will say he just amazes me. Everything he does.

But I feel guilty for saying all of this because you're always stuck up in the back of my head.
I couldn't even kiss him tonight
(no matter how much I wanted to)
just because your lips are the only ones I've kissed for the past 5 months.
I know that sounds lame, but it's true.
You're the only one that's been able to keep me on complete lockdown
because you're really the only one I WANT to be kissing.
It's dumb cause you don't feel the same.
But through everything, you're the only one I've been this faithful to
(and you know my track-record with past relationships)
This is so hard for me to understand.
I don't get how you have this way of turning me off to everyone else in the world.
On one hand, I know James is so right for me and we have something incredible;
But you and I...I just can't shake everything that's happened to me since you.
UGH. This is just silly.
I like him. I could be so happy with him. We could be great.
Could. Could, Could, Could.
Such a meaningless word if not put in to action.
I'm just scared of getting involved with him and not knowing where we stand.
You and I, I mean.
I'm all kinds of confused right now lol Don't mind my mindless rambling.
I need thinking time. I need sleep. I need to come to terms with reality.
I need to realize the truth. I need to stop lying to myself.
I need to stop hoping you'll change your mind.
I need to stop believing what I want to believe is happening.

But I can't. I just can't. And it sucks.
You'll always hold a little space in my heart.
You know, that little hole yuh dug right below my rib cage?
Yeah, you'll live there for quite some time.
That space is yours. Always yours.


(Lyrics: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/relientk/overthinking.html)