You are about to make a choice, Leo. You are prepared for this, even though you may be nervous about it. The only potential problem you have is that you may be inclined to look to the past for an answer about the future. You are thinking back to mistakes you made, or choices you did not make that you wish you had, and you are mentally applying those thoughts to your current situation. But this new development is altogether different, and cannot be compared to what came before. Break new ground, blaze a new trail, and it will take you where you want to go.
"Or not. Well I still love you and I hope we can talk about this soon because I miss you in my life already and its only been 15 hours since you took yourself out. I've never given up on you and I won't, but I think this time you need to be the one who tries hard for me. So if you ever wanna talk, I'm here."
Well I did it. The ball is in her court now. I'm not chasing, I'm not begging, I'm not breaking my back trying to make her mine again. I just want her to know that if she wants to be friends, I'm completely for it, but I'm not gonna be the one to fight for it. It's all up to her. As corny as it is, after I sent that text to her, I picked up a taco bell sauce packet that was upside-down on the counter. I turned it over to read it and it said "free me". I couldn't help but smile cause thats what I felt...free. Free of caring, free of pain, free of lustful need. Now that Jen treats me the way I know I deserve to be treated, I feel so much better about myself. This is what I need. SHE is what I need. This all just feels right.
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