I have so much anger built up inside of me right now, there's only one thing I want to do.
I'm staring at it. I can almost feel it pressed up against my skin.
Digging deeper and deeper in to my flesh, splitting my veins down the middle.
It's a new blade too, so it wouldn't take much effort.
I'm completely numb with animosity towards every person in this house right now.
I fucking hate the bickering.
I fucking hate the suspicion.
I fucking hate the screaming.
I FUCKING HATE THE SIGHT OF THEM EVEN BREATHING.
If it weren't for money, I'd be outta here.
I'd be so far gone and I question how long it would be til I returned.
The hatred in my heart is just so present, I feel it pulsing through my body.
She causes me to lose my god damn mind, do you understand?
Her just being in my sight drives me up a mother fucking wall.
It sparks this rage, this frenzy almost that I can't control.
I'm losing myself in this anger. I need help. I need it now.
All it's doing is growing inside of me and I can feel the day that I just snap quickly approaching.
I need medication. I know I do. I need to just have to explain myself properly enough to attain it.


All I want is to be left alone.
No one to bother me. No one to scream in my face.
Nothing to distract me. Nothing to hide from.
Nowhere to be. Nowhere to be found.

Shes knocking on my door at this moment.
Im trying very hard to ignore it.
Its getting louder. Its getting faster.
She came in. I saw her face.
I know she's telling on me now for telling her to get out.
I heard mom say "Just stay away from her. She's a miserable person, that's all"
Fuck everyone and everything.
If I'm that miserable, maybe I shouldn't be alive?
Maybe it'd please everyone to watch me off myself?
MAYBE THEN THEY'D REALIZE THAT THEY'RE THE MISERABLE FUCKING ONES,
THAT ARE TRYING TO MAKE ME JUST AS MISERABLE AS THEY!
And that I'm the only sane one in this family.
Maybe then they'd realize.

Then again, maybe not.