Maybe it's the exhaustion talking.

I think you should know that I'm very much in love with you.
I know that my blog is very bipolar where i love you one second then resent you the next,
and I'm also aware that I use that four-lettered word too often,
but I don't care.
You. You're just so much to me and you don't even realize it.
I mean, I wouldn't call you everything because that seems a bit much;
but you just consume so much of me. My thoughts, my heart, my emotions.
I know I try to fight you off sometimes. I try to resist you.
But it's only because I'm so scared. I'm a person who needs assurance.
I NEED to know how long things are going to last,
a general direction of where I'm going,
and a set time of when the ride will be over.
And you don't give me any of that lol
You just enjoy the ride and don't mind if you get lost every once in a while.
You and I are complete opposites, yet somehow, we both make each other so happy...
It baffles me, quite frankly.
So yes, I am in love with you; But maybe not the way you think...let me try to explain.

I'm in love with the way you smile. I'm in love with the way you try to look in to both of my eyes at the same time. I'm in love with the way you tilt your head back when you laugh really hard. I'm in love with the way you let me sing so awfully in to your ear when we're in bed. I'm in love with the way you breathe in, where you're ribs push down hard on mine. The way you dig your fingers in to my sides, trying to tickle me. The way you bite your lip. The way I can hear your heart beat when I rest my head against your back. The way you know just what to do to turn me on. The way you lightly drag your fingers across my palms when neither of us are really saying anything. I'm in love with the fact that the list of things I love about you is endless. But most of all, I fell in love with the way you pulled my arm around you when we laid there in the silence. No one's ever done that to me before. Even though you didn't say anything in that moment, I didn't need words to let me know you just wanted me there. That you and me in that bed was all we really needed and no matter what, everything is going to be ok. It made me feel like you needed me. You're such a strong, powerful person on your own and I'm amazed you let yourself be that vulnerable around me. You don't know what it means to me. You don't know how strong that made ME feel.

I have so many more words I want to say.
I feel like there's so much more I could be putting out there.
But I'm kind of tired of being this emotionally-unstable wreck lol
I'm filled up with this happiness and I don't want to lose it; So I won't.
I won't take things so seriously. I won't get caught up in worrying.
I won't take shit to heart. I won't let even worse shit consume me.
I won't let my head get caught up in my heart's affairs.
I won't push you away again just because I'm scared of having all this happiness
then losing it along with you in an instant.
Through you, I've learned to live in and love the moment
& not be so fucking scared of the future
because worrying about tomorrow only distracts you from seeing the beauty in today.
I just want you to know that I'm working on myself because you've inspired me to change.
You are something that isn't worth the risk of losing.
You are a consistency that I need.
You're just so much more than I could ever have known, passing you in those halls.
Who would've ever guessed.